Let's start with the end, rather, the future.
A deceased-in-the-future John Locke went by the pseudonym Jeremy Bentham (another 18th century philosopher, more on him later) and paid a visit to the Oceanic 6.
Let's get Desmond's analysis: "Bloody hell."
Jack is still in pill-popping-'70s-throwback-adorned mode and searching for The Island.
Desmond, care to chime in? "Bloody Hell."
Kate is still in I'm-Aaron's-mom mode, but having Claire pop up in her dreams with messages like, "don't you dare bring him back!" Him? Hmmm. Him as in Aaron him? Him as in half-brother Jack him? Him as in Ben him? Or maybe him as in Jeremy Bentham-Locke him?
The phone call to Kate? When played backwards, the message states: "The Island needs you. You have to go back before it's too late."
Desmond, your thoughts? "Bloody hell."
Hurley is playing chess with Mr. Eko, Sayid is watching Hurley's back while being The Jackal and Walt is mad none of the Oceanic 6 stopped by to say hi and that they're all lying. The way Walt's growing, Billy Gillispie may be calling soon.
Sun blames Jack (along with her father) for the death of her husband. She's also dropping her card in the palm of Charles Widmore's hand. Could she be after Ben? The Island? Her father who's been known to play golf with Widmore?
Penny, can I borrow Des for a second? Des? "Bloody hell."
At the Orchid Station, Jack and Sawyer recover Hurley, but not before a Jack-John talk. John tells Jack, "If you leave this Island, that knowledge will eat you alive from the inside out, until you decide to come back." John also tells Jack, "It's not an Island. It's a place where miracles happen. If you don't believe that, just wait until you see what I'm about to do."
Jack responds like Jack always does: "There's no such thing as miracles."
Locke retorts: "We'll just have to see which one of us is right," followed with a "lie to them Jack. If you do it half as well as you do to yourself, they'll believe you."
Desmond, you still in this lifetime? "Bloody hell."
BTW: I absolutely loved the scene when Ben returns to the Orchid and sees Locke sort of aimlessly walking around because Locke didn't know what anthuriums looked like. I thought the same thing when Ben uttered this line two weeks ago:
"You're going to go into that greenhouse through that hole there. Once inside, you're going to turn left. Go about 20 paces until you see a patch of anthuriums on your left. They're in an alcove against the north wall. Face that wall, reach down with your left hand, you'll find a switch that activates the elevator. The elevator takes you down to the actual Orchid station."
Wait, Ben? What do, uh, anthuriums look like again? Ben, don't leave!
I love that they didn't give Locke all-knowing horticultural knowledge on top of his array of Island powers.
Below the Orchid Station Ben tells Locke to watch another orientation movie. The movie (couldn't somebody in Othersland take a Saturday and transfer these to DVD?) featuring Doc Halliwax says something like, "don't fill The Vault, where space-time travel occurs, with metal objects." Ben fills it with lots of metal objects. Keamy, still alive after a hostiles-onslaught, makes his way to the undergound station. Locke tries to reason with him, but Ben (still mad about the death of his adopted daughter) uses the opportunity to stab Keamy to death. Locke tells Ben, "You just killed everyone that freighter." Ben tells Locke, "so?"
Way below the Orchid Station, Halliwax-parka-clad (the same one from The Shape of Things to Come) Ben crawls through a tunnel that leads him to a frigid ancient cave with a giant wooden "donkey" wheel. Ben turns the wheel and wouldn't ya know, there goes The Island.
How's that Scottish Army bomb training doing for you, Desmond? "Bloody hell."
On the freighter Michael, Jin, Desmond, Murtaugh and Riggs try to defuse the C4 bomb while Lapidus and the chopper crew return. The chopper, draining fuel, after the merc-hostiles gunfight left it porous thanks to bullet holes, needs to drop weight in order to make it to the ticking time bomb. Sawyer, realizing his 215-or-so-LBs would be better off in the ocean than on the whirly bird plunges into the drink. But not before he whispers something into Kate's ear (maybe about his daughter Clementine?) and gives her a smooch. Hurley spots the freighter and the heli heads for it. Desmond sees the bird coming on to the explosive-laced freighter and says ...
... "bloody hell."
The freighter explodes, but not before Christian Shephard tells Michael, "you can go now" and Sun sees Jin possibly perish. What about Scott!? Or was it Steve?
Back to The Island (yes, I'm breaking all sorts of continuity rules). Richard Alpert, Sayid and Kate join forces to take down the mercs. In return for their help, Alpert and Ben send Sayid and Kate on their merry ways off The Island. Why is the Alpert Crew so well armed? How are they so good at killing mercs? Why didn't they intervene and help Sayid take down Keamy from the get-go? I'm guessing they enjoyed watching two trained fighters go blow for blow like I did. Apparently Alpert's gang now considers Locke their leader, saying things like, "welcome home" and sharing all the knowledge they know about The Island. Like the smoke monster? Like why people don't age? Like why people heal so well? Like there's a friggin' time-traveling device on this rock?! Like....?!
Brother, can you spare two words? "Bloody hell."
On the beach Rose berates I'm-staying-here Miles for eating peanuts. Charlotte tells Farraday she's "still looking for the place she was born," which I have no idea how to interpret at this stage. Was she born on The Island? Is she Widmore kin? An orphan destined to one day lead the Hostiles? Some time-traveling aberration? Thoughts?
On the Searcher (Penelope's boat), Desmond reunites with Penny and tells her something like, "I'll never leave you again." Hmm, I have a feeling he does. Jack works the lie into everybody's head space and they complete their fabricated journey back home.
There's more to the episode I'll leave for the boards. But let's talk about Jeremy Bentham. He was a philosopher hell-bent on promoting utilitarianism. The philosophy, at its core, involves maximizing happiness for the most and that the worth of an action is determined by its outcome—the ends justify the means. Bentham was highly progressive for his time, introducing the panopticon method of criminal reform and when he died, had his body preserved and stored in a wooden box that still attends University College London meetings on occasion. However, his head was badly damaged during preservation and instead, Bentham's body has a wax head. I've never been to an open-casket funeral, but Locke's head looked pretty waxy.
So why was Locke mingling in civilization trying to get the Oceanic 6 back to The Island? What was Christian doing on the freighter? What's Sun's arrangement with Widmore going to entail? Where is The Island? Is Jack the only one who wants (needs?) to go back? Why is Walt traveling cross-country to berate Hurley? Which other dead people visit Hurley? What did Sawyer tell Kate? Is Jin dead? Is...
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