Tag:Don Juan's Sports Thoughts
Posted on: April 24, 2008 12:25 pm
Edited on: April 24, 2008 12:34 pm

Alpha Blog: How soccer fans get so good

There's not much debating that when it comes to prolonged fan intensity, soccer fans tend to whoop up on Americans.

Case in point: Ever see this sort of level of excitement at a college football game? These people are singing, jumping, whistling, hooliganing -- just about everything you can possibly think about doing in or around a soccer stadium with your closest 80,000 drunken friends.

But for the first time we may have some insight as to how they got this way. When taking a voice break, remember to hold up a sign.

Ingrid Amon, an Austrian-based voice coach, is giving out pointers on how to cheer for the Euro Championship in June.

From the AP story:

"Amon's advice includes taking 'quiet' breaks so fans aren't continually shouting through all 90 minutes of regular time, and deliberately varying the pitch and intensity of their screams."

She also advises fans to avoid alcohol and caffeine.

So to be a good, boisterous, vocal fan you must:

A. vary your pitch and intensity
B. Avoid booze
C. Avoid coffee

Whoa, whoa, Miss Amon. I'm just trying to get into heaven, I'm not running for Jesus!

On to the best blogs ... around!   

Aubrey Huff just has to go"Aubrey Huff must go! Aubrey Huff must go! Aubrey Huff must go! We're not gonna protest!" I mean, "Aubrey Huff must go!" says Barffly's Bin of Pretzels and Beer after last night's base-running faux pas.

You don't think Tom Brady is the norm, right? A Hall of Fame selection in the 6th round IS NOT the norm, stastically speaking, The Bong Zone reports.

What do Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan and Joe Montana have in common? They all make Scotttalkssports's list of the 10 greatest athletes since the 1980s. Remember: This is just an opinion...that of Scott Cacciatore.

We're one month deep into the baseball season, and that means awards time. Don Juan's Sports Thoughts is dishing out the hardware and ranking teams based on things like how good they are. Diggity.

Klick of the Day    

Tonight, 10 ET. You know what show I'm talking. Get to re-know the new characters through the guru, Doc Jensen.

Posted on: April 10, 2008 11:28 am
Edited on: April 10, 2008 12:51 pm

Alpha Blog: Stanley Pringle nickname competition

You know Shulaces photo caption contest. Well, I'm going to have my own little competition today.

I shall deem thee contest: "Let's give Stanley Pringle a nickname."

Stanley Pringle is a man who knows a thing or two about hand lotion.If you don't remember, Pringle is the Penn State guard charged with lewdness and disorderly conduct. More specifically, he was allegedly masturbating in a library -- his second incident of the nature in two weeks.

This is what he told campus police:

Pringle told police he has "a bad habit of putting his hand down his pants," and demonstrated for the officer by placing his hand down the front of his sweatpants, according to the complaint.

"Why would I need to masturbate?" he told police. "This is how I chill, ma'am."

Really, this was just a sales pitch gone wrong. You see, Stanley Pringle sells hand lotion for the basketball team. He was simply demonstrating manners in which to use lotion.

Apparently, a few swings of Simpsons and Son's tonic later he made his pitch (it puts the lotion on it's skin...) :Coming soon to a university near you.

The woman told police that after 15 minutes of conversation with Pringle, she heard the sound of adjusting clothing followed by a "smacking sound, like Pringle's hand was smacking against the skin of his body."

The victim said she did not turn around because she was afraid, adding that she believed this to be the sound of masturbation and could see a reflection of Pringle's hand moving back and forth, according to the criminal complaint.

The woman told police that Pringle then answered his ringing cell phone and proceeded to make "moaning sounds" and "sounded like he was short of breath."

 You wouldn't think a little 5-on-1 would get the 6-1 guard out of breath, but making sales is so tough in today's slumping economic climate. Of course, maybe the sound she heard   was this

So the question is (and not to beat a dead Lion down) what do we deem thee, Mr. Stanley "once he pops, he can't stop" Pringle?  

 On to the four best blogs ... around! Jake Westbrook for the Cy? Sigh. 


Gary Parrish announced his Ridiculously Early But Still Kind Of Fun Preseason Top 25 (and one) Thursday. Dantheman4250's Sports Blog released his Top 25 College Hoops Teams for 2009 (As of Apr 9) Thursday. Advantage ... blogger. Wow.

I don't like his Flyers over Caps prediction, but I do like his Minnesota over Colorado prediction. dbacksfan414 breaks down the hockey playoffs.

I don't disagree with the premise of the blog -- Cleveland will win the AL Central -- but Don Juan's Sports Thoughts calling Jake Westbrook the eventual Cy Young winner is a wee bit absurd. I mean, REALLY?

It's just a short trip on I-70 From Frederick to Charm City, and the blogger breaks down the Orioles' hot start. Last season the team bought middle relief pitching. This season it's discovering middle relief pitching. Lesson: Never pay a lot for middle relief pitching.

 Klick of the Day  

I don't know what Newfangle means, but Pringles seems to. (Anybody who can Stanley Pringle-fy this video and share gets mad props.)

Posted on: April 6, 2008 12:26 pm
Edited on: April 8, 2008 3:52 pm

Alpha Blog: Max Mosley pulls a serious Spitzer

Max Mosley likes his sex with a dash of SS.

In case you missed it, Formula 1's boss is Max Mosley.

Max Mosley brings a new twist to the term sexual deviant.Max Mosley allegedly uses hookers. One of those hookers told a publication called News of the World about what she was hired to do with, or rather, to, Max Mosley.

She would dress up like Dr. Elsa Schneider and flog Max Mosley until he bled. This is just the beginning, though. Add four more hookers, more flogging, barking and now we've got a Mosley-approved evening. Allegedly, this would go on for five hours.

"Viagra is one helluva drug," says CBSSports.com editor George Maselli.

Eliot Spitzer says, "the Emperor's Club would never condone such behavior."

Charlton Heston says, "get your hands off me you dirty Nazi hookers."

Ian McKellen, star of Naz-com Apt Pupil says, "we always wondered why Mosley hung around the set so much."

The article gets in to some of the details of the evening. Essentially, just add video cameras and more floggings to the mix and you'll complete the picture.

Max Mosley denies all this.

"I was the victim of a disgusting conspiracy. It goes without saying that the so-called Nazi element is pure fabrication."

I'm not sure what "fabrication" means, but I’m guessing it's something like "delicious," or "ecstasy."

On to the best four blogs ... around!      

Can't wait until Tuesday for Lyle Crouse's Power Rankings? Our resident basketball guru The Blog to End All Blogs is there for ya -- and I can't find anything to gripe about. Then again, who really gets worked up for Power Rankings?

Our other basketball maven, Mind of The Big B, offers up this spicy nugget: He's switched his MVP vote (because CBSSports.com bloggers have official votes) away from Kobe to Chris Paul. I like it, only because I appreciate people with two first names.

Like irony? Like Dwight Howard? Intrigued by paternity suits. That's just the first of The Blasphemous Zeitgeist Speaks' bizarre news of the week.

The Marlins are off to a 3-2 start and are "atop" the NL East. Reason to start believing that this club may not finish fourth? Don Juan's Sports Thoughts is starting to lean that way, which is ridiculous, since my Nats will lock down the four spot. We don't have much pitching (Matt Chico aside), but we do have more than the Fish. Mark Hendrickson? C'mon.

Klick of the Day      

The top 10 baseball movie MVPs, according to EW. Tell me what you think, but the only notable snub is Ham Porter from the Sandlot.

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or CBSSports.com