Tag:Fiddle's Faddles
Posted on: February 11, 2008 5:56 pm
Edited on: February 11, 2008 7:09 pm

Blog Day Afternoon: Dog day edition

Since it's chic to use Appalachian State as the yardstick for big-time upsets (right, dook's buzz!?), we'll call Uno App. State and Paradox Michigan.

Let me explain.

We're coming to the end of the Westminster Kennel Club Annual Dog Show (final judging will be reported at 11 p.m. ET, Tuesday) and we have ourselves a, to use the tired cliche, David vs. Goliaths showdown.

In the Goliaths' corner are a toy poodle, an Akita, Lhasa Apsos (and to think that in some countries these dogs are eaten) and other prestigious breeds like Paradox, the bull terrier.

But it's Uno who can make history tonight. That's because a beagle has never been presented best in show at any of the 100 Westminster events. According to the AP, no beagle had won the hound group since 1939, or 483 years, in dog years.

After being poked, prodded and judged (I don't think I could ever get used to being poked and prodded like that. I told my proctologist one time, "Why don't you take me out to dinner and a movie sometime?"), Uno is just a few rounds away from winning this whole shebang. Well, I think it's a few, I don't really understand how the WKC works, or really care to.

So go Uno and take down those snooty (I did just say it!) dogs in the Big Apple since after all, you're the App. State, the Giants, Gardner-Webb, Boise State and Texas State University all rolled into one.

OK, one more Buck Laughlin line: "I went to one of those obedience places once ... it was all going well until they spilled hot candle wax on my private parts."

Oh, and if Paris Hilton was a dog (uh, if, you say?), she'd look like the Afghan to the right (ka-zing!).

Wagging my fist!

 Start. On the community cover is a picture of a beagle named Eric (they didn't have any Uno photos on Getty or AP). I've never understood people who name dogs human names. I take that back, you can name a dog a human name, but it has to be a stripper/porn star human name. Like Chloe or Zoe or Brandy or Ivory or Candy or Cassidy or Sid. You don't name a dog Eric or Steve or Jennifer. That's weird. You name it Marley or Snickers or Minky or Alyssa Milano. So while I'm flattered a champion dog shares my name (and yes, will probably eat better than me tonight), let's get creative here dog owners. Over.

On to the best blogs ... around! (collegiate edition)    

Memphis plays in Conference USA. Conference USA isn't exactly the Big East. The Sideline asks, "who cares?" and says the Tigers are smart to stay in the mid-major, dummies.

Think Duke has some deal with the devil to make Cameron the ultimate homecourt advantage? You're wrong, really wrong. Those sorts of deals are made in Fayetville and Columbus, according to mythbuster Fiddle's Faddles

Pensive Musings on Boise St Football is talking about ... Boise State football. Its recruiting class, specifically. The program got a guy named Grimes, he plays defensive tackle. I'd like to be the first to call him Grimey.

Utah State's best win is vs. Bob's cousin, Oral Roberts. So why are they getting AP votes? Parrish: The Thoughts investigates in The Poll Attacks. Well, really, he just vents. But he'll be investigating too.

Pun in blog headline title? Check. Plea for all male sportsfans? Check. Avatar to forget? Check. Those are three of the elements in Girls Know Sports? latest and greatest blog. Hear her out, or don't (that's actually kinda ironic if you're of the male variety and don't).

If you think Pat Knight isn't fit to run a Foot Locker, then you would get along great with Doyel's Dribbles. Then again, if you got along with Gregg Doyel, well, that would be weird.

Posted on: January 31, 2008 5:38 pm
Edited on: January 31, 2008 6:36 pm

Blog Day Afternoon: Last day of Jan. edition

I don't understand people who listen to Don Imus. I really can't understand people who watch his simulcasted show.

In fairness, I know very little about this guy or his show. But what could one aging shockjock DJ bring to the table that some younger version of himself couldn't? He's so lame/out of touch/whatever that the "joke" that got him canned -- "nappy headed hos" -- wasn't fresh. It wasn't clever. It was just some old white guy trying to sound fresh and clever.

Yes, he's a former CBS employee. Is that why I'm blogging about this. NO.  Disclaimer: I watch nothing the Eye produces outside of sports and probably won't until I'm 45 and three kids deep.

But Imus proves one of two things: On-air talent is deceptively thin or the powers-to-be are so bad at thinking outside the norm, they bring back this retread.

Heck, if they do it time and again with semi-successful coaches, why wouldn't they do it with shockjocks? So there you have it, the Jim Fassel of radio hosts is back. Enjoy Baltimore, Detroit, Philly and all the other cities that will soon be able to watch his simulcasted radio show. Mazel tov.

On to the best ... blogs around!

I'm proud to add Mind of The Big B to the Fraternity of Worst Sports Franchises in Football fans. Guess which one the blog is a "fan" of? It's not my Redskins. It's not PC Free From PC Central's Raiders. It's the starts with Li- ends with -ons. Oh, and he's kind enough to remind us how much of sporting oasis Motown is outside of the Wayne Fontes' old team. That's nice. Jacka**!

If you're too lazy to type in "Bobby Knight" at Wikipedia, check out Fiddle's Faddles' brief history of the General (also, uh, his cousin?).

BigTen's Fantasy Baseball Blog brings up the R Kelly-ian point: Age ain't nuttin' but a number. He's playing the skeptic to EMack's true-and-tried recipe of drafting 27-year-olds come Fantasy baseball time. Me? I buy into it because it's reason to believe that contrary to my long-standing, uh, stance, I didn't peak at 17 ... I still have one year to go.

The same people who follow Brittany Spears' every move are the same people who love the two-week gap before the Super Bowl, according to The Words of Dezy. The blog is mad, mad I tell ya!

Our new buddy Volunteer Basketball (who knew they had a team!?) is surveying the blogospheres' best pickup lines. Since the "nice shoes one ..." was used, I'll go with "You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy." Lame, yes, so add yours to the list.

Euphuism's 101 asks the all important question: When is the last time you ... destroyed a public toilet. I'm doing it right now! God bless wi-fi. Oh, wait...let's stop there.

Sadly, I knew about this several months back. I asked our Fantasy Managing Editor Peter Madden if we were going to get in on this. His response? "We'll leave Fantasy Fishing to the Ocho." Don't worry 'bout it Spotsy Scratch, you won't be weighing your bass on our site. Wait, that didn't come out right.

And I had to add this one. If Fantasy fishing isn't your thang, NaterB's Junk Drawer has the perfect game for ya. It's Fantasy announcers and while Dick Vitale may be the A-Rod (or marlin if you're a fisher?) on the draft board, please don't underestimate the vocal powers of Gus Johnson.

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or CBSSports.com