Tag:The View From Above
Posted on: April 30, 2008 11:55 am
Edited on: April 30, 2008 12:05 pm

Alpha Blog: Ronaldo's one-night misunderstanding

Cocaine, cross-dressing prostitutes, extortion. Just a wild night in the Barra de Tijuca neighborhood of Sao Paulo for soccer star/Simpsons guest star Ronaldo.

Ronaldo apparently picked up some prostitutes (it's legal in Brazil), took them to a hotel and at some point during the night realized that he Ronaldo's gal-boy is all over the papers. entered into a Dave Stewart-Eddie Murphy-Mac-from-It's-Always-Sunny-in-Philadelphia pre-op tranny uh-oh situation.

One problem. These trannies weren't just regular prostitute trannies, they were extorion trannies.

(Excuse me, Mr. Ronaldo, but I can maybe understand picking up one pre-op tranny. But two pre-op trannies? A plethora of pre-op trannies? That reeks of experimentation.)

So Ronaldo's Lolas turned out to be Lous and it got so intense in the hotel room when the AC Milan striker wouldn't fork over the payola that one of the trannies ripped out the phone line to prevent him calling the Brazilian police. His car was also broken into in the pursuit of financial gains.

The soccer star is now in hiding, most likely regretting that what happens in Sau Paulo doesn't stay in Sao Paulo.

Tom Brady still wins the smile competition. On to the best blogs ... around!  

It's a fresh look at an old debate courtesy of The Bong Zone. Tom Brady vs. Peyton Manning? The blog comes to this conclusion (using some impressive statistical analysis): Brady can't hold Manning's jock.

The View From Above is still grading NFL Drafts and the AFC South has a theme: the rich got richer.

Are the defending NL champs cooked come May? WTF is going on out there ? says the Rockies just need to get back to basics to right this ship.

The Sports Comedian - SportsComedian.com, is giving out letter grades for all the NFL Draft teams, which means the Ravens get a Y, for Year of Delawarean Domination.

Klick of the Day  

How to properly pimp your foosball table. Paste this: http://gizmodo.com/385406/the-hi
+fi-foosball-table-is-fully-loaded (Gizmodo)

Posted on: April 29, 2008 12:45 pm
Edited on: April 29, 2008 1:21 pm

Alpha Blog: Miami teams like their coaches young

Driving this morning I heard a news report about the latest fad in the subprime meltdown -- foreclosure tours in Lee County, Florida.

People get in a big green bus and spend the day looking at homes banks have repossessed, and are now flipping at reduced rates. Erik Spoelstra has less of a Skeletor feel to him than Pat Riley. Some houses go for half the value of the purchase price.

The real estate broker in charge of this claims he's peddling in market-correcting behavior ("hey, now teachers can buy these homes"), not capitalizing on market misfortune. And that had me thinking about the Heat, the Dolphins, the Marlins and even the Hurricanes. South Florida's real estate market isn't the only thing that went boom goes the dynamite over the past three years. Its sports teams all imploded, foreclosed, and are now working to get back into shape.

And the area is doing it with a coaching youth movement. Maybe we call it sports-market correction, head coaching style.

Randy Shannon, age 42, is hell bent on developing the Hurricanes program the right way, which means something along the lines of abandoning the Sidney Deane-Larry Coker methodology of losing, but looking good while doing it. 

Fredi Gonzalez, age 44, doing more with less in ways only a midget porn star could appreciate.

Tony Sparano, age 46, an offensive line coach. Coaches with backgrounds in the trenches tend to always supplant coaches who worked up in the booth calling plays.

(Of note: Like interest-only loans offered in a booming housing market, offensive coordinator hires are often the last hurrah of a crumbling franchise. For further proof, keep an eye on the San Diego Chargers this season.)

Erik Spoelstra, age 37, who cut his chops as the Joe Francis of the Miami Heat.

So if you're a foreclosure hunter helping the South Florida market correct itself, or if you're a Miami-area sports fan, things can only get better from this point. The foundations are in place for some long-term success. At the very least, they'll be some slashed ticket prices for any game you want to take in this sporting year.

On to the best blogs ... around!Caleb Campbell (13) is in an unusual situation.  

Speaking of the Miami Heat, Harst's View on Sports looks ahead to next season and sees a team with Derrick Rose ... or Kevin Love. If it's Kevin Love, the Heat have much, much bigger problems being that the guy is a late lottery pick -- not a top three selection.

The Lions' selection of Caleb Campbell has our own Gregg Doyel wondering what to say. The Monday Hustle is in the same boat regarding the Army grad's situation.

It was a rough weekend for AFC North teams according to The View From Above. No team receives a grade higher than a C for their work selecting players.

For most of the decade the Steelers' offensive line was built to run the ball. Now Russ Grimm is gone and Big Ben is flourishing. So In Love with the Game, Mom's View says a philosophic overhual is required in the trenches.

Klick of the Day  

Sticking with the Miami theme, it turns out we need a few driving-correction courses. (Miami Herald)

Posted on: March 13, 2008 11:30 am
Edited on: March 13, 2008 12:44 pm

Alpha Blog: Don't mess with Jonny Gomes in T-Ball

What Jonny Gomes lacks in spearing ability, well, he makes up for in good intentions.

Oh, and what the heck are they teaching in Tee Ball these days?Nobody messes with Jonny Gomes' Aki.

In case you missed the unimpressive brawl between the Yankees and Rays, you can read about it here or watch it here.

Now that you've seen it, we can deduce a couple of things.

1. Shelley Duncan is a man of his word
2. Jonny Gomes either has poor depth perception or little practice taking people down with a 40-foot running start.
3. Jonny Gomes' Tee Ball skipper was Morris Buttermaker

On point No. 3. Gomes says something along the lines of: from the time of Tee Ball, I've been taught to always have your teammates back.

OK, I can buy that to a point. Teaching kids about being part of a team is a big part of the Tee Ball experience. But so is getting the kid to run to first base, not second, when he actually makes contact. I'm just saying, Jonny, I think you went a little too far back in the time machine to pull up that defense. How about saying Little League the next time you're asked. Just saying.

As for this blossoming rivalry, I can't wait for the regular season to start. Red Sox-Yankees was getting a little tiring and by-the-numbers in a way, sort of like a Pierce Brosnan Bond flick. Yankees-Rays is the new ticket. It's the Casino Royale of the AL East. Watch out Aki, Shelley "spike" or "Le Chiffre" Duncan may be bringing the carpet beater to second base next time the two teams meet.

On to the best blogs ... around!    

Ever wonder why Allen Iverson is better than Anthony Johnson? The Handy Dandy FanOVandy has an answer up his "sleeve."

This could be the best time of the NFL non-season. By that we mean mock draft time (or as I refer to it: the chance for all of us to act like HR managers). Goodfella's blog takes a solid stab at the task, and Glen Dorsey isn't the top pick.

Want to know how the Big Ten Tournament will pan out? Random Thoughts will tell ya who wins: it's those stinkin' Badgers.

I made an argument a while back about D.C. being a horrid sports town. The View From Above makes the case for a different town. One that starts with M- and ends with -iami.

Life Lessons for the Male Sportsfan talks about food, and love, and I'm not sure what else. But when it comes to picnicking, nothing screams eroticism more than haggis. Yum.

Shulaces' Photo Caption Contest is up and regarding photo No. 4: Santa needs a bigger pair of shorts.

And for something completely different  -- and disturbing:

Our CBS.com office likes to dance

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or CBSSports.com