Tag:Wonderful World of Gonos
Posted on: April 1, 2008 12:13 pm
Edited on: April 1, 2008 12:47 pm

Alpha Blog: We've gone completely Chico here

It's going to get ugly. I'm completely smitted with Chico.

All four of my Fantasy baseball teams have Chico in the name.

  • Chico 2 Chico: Nats justice
  • Chico in Charge
  • Chico TiempoMatt Chico's windup is deadly ... and getting deadlier.
  • Chico: Spanish for awesome

I'm going too fast again. Who is Matt Chico?

Matt Chico is the No. 2 starter for the Nationals. Of course, it didn't use to be this way. Matt Chico was the maybe-he'll-make-the-team starter in spring training. Last year he was the guy-who-Manny Acta-was-forced-to-turn-to-every-fi
healthy starter. The year before that he was the maybe-a-mid-level-prospect-for-the-
D-Backs guy.

He's also my favorite National. Case in point. Opening Night at Nationals Park emcee Donny Sutts was introducing the pitchers and mid-sentence, "He's the tallest player in baseball..." Matt Chico starts walking out. Chico is 6 feet in heels. Sutts was talking about mound monster Jon Rauch.

Chico is also durable -- he pitched 31 games as a rookie -- and relies on pitch placement, not strikeouts. Chicks dig pitch placement, I'm told. Of course, chicks also dig the Lifetime ("television for idiots").

Now, here's what really gets me gaga for Chico. He's still tinkering with his windup and mechanics, yet managed to hold the potently potable Phillies to just three runs over 5 1/3 inning.

Here's from the Washington Post's Barry (and I'm Barry) Svrluga:

"The Matt Chico experiment continues. The left-hander, who is trying to restore his old windup while simultaneously retiring major league hitters, lasted 5 1/3 innings and allowed three runs in Monday's 11-6 win over Philadelphia. Those are mixed results from a mixed delivery.

'I kind of got lost mechanics-wise, was going back and forth between the new and the old," Chico said. 'Couldn't really find it.'"

So as you can see, not only does Chico have the name (Chico), the look (pudgy), the cookiness (happening to walk out when Sutts is talking about the tallest guy in baseball) and the grit (how ya feel now, Phillies?), he's still a diamond in the rough. Or as CBSSports.com editor George Maselli says, "serviceable." I didn't look that word up, but I'm sure it means excellence of execution.

On to the best four blogs ... around! (Opening Day Edition)    

 Turns out Sandy Koufax isn't Bernie Lomax. This may be the most-hyped Reds team of the decade. Apparently names like Cuerto, Bruce and Volquez are enough to make bloggers like THE OBJECTIVE GUY forget about how bad Dusty Baker is with young talent.

Happy birthday to neophite Fantasy fella Scott White, who turned 12 Monday. However, I White; You Read reminds us of an important lesson regarding Joakim Soria vs. Jonathan Papelbon.

Contrary to HBO reports, Sandy Koufax is alive, well and throwing out a first pitch for the Dodgers' home opener, Scott Miller reports in his Scott Miller's Bull Pennings.

We always thought Fantasy writers have it rough, the Wonderful World of Gonos confirms our suspicions. (included is a one Johnny Roast Beef prediction)

Klick of the Day     

What sort of accent do you have? Like our buddy (Insert Name Here), we're boring ol' Midland. I do have a good voice for TV, which is nice. Damn you Maryland and your lack of dialectical charm!

If you have a good link to share, post below or send a PM and I'll highlight it later in the week.

Posted on: March 11, 2008 11:31 am
Edited on: March 11, 2008 2:36 pm

Alpha Blog: Your brackets vs. Parrish, again

It's silly to even bring this up. But we're silly people here. The Heat have 20 games remaining. And you know something? They may not win any of them.

Tie feeling a little tight, Pat Riley?I know, I know. No team finishes on what would be a 25-game losing skid. But if there's any team that can make a run at this, the Heat are doing their best. Their coach has checked out. Their star is off making "appearances" at his new restaurants. They have a Mark Blount, and a Ricky Davis, to boot.

They lose games like last night's heartbreaker to the Clippers (they can't even trip their way to a win).

Shawn Marion can only do so much.

Chris Quinn? 'Nuff said. Sorry CBSSports.com sales guru David Salinas. Apparently, they're BFF or something.

If DNP's were a favorable metric, this team would have locked up a playoff berth right now.

OK, so I'm looking at the schedule and when your team still has games against foes like New York, Milwaukee, Memphis and Indiana, you're bound to get a win somewhere in there.

But wouldn't it just be something if they didn't? Oh, the schadenfreude!

So they probably will get a win at some point. I just hope it's in their final game, against a team that just took a "doubleheader" against you. No better way to stop a potential 25-game losing streak heading into 2008-'09 than by beating the team that won the league's first "doubleheader" in 25 years. Maybe I'll watch that finale at D Wade's Sports Grill.

On to the best blogs ... around!    

Baseball Bloggin'

Sorry fellow Nats fans, but despite two-ninths of our roster potentially being filled by Boone's, I won't expect a cheap wine sponsorship coming Brett's way. Scott Miller's Bull Pennings reports.

You don't know who Blake Davis is, but after you get through My never ending Story......, you will. Hint: He's stuck on the depth chart behind Brandon Fahey.

The Wonderful World of Gonos does the unthinkable -- compiles the all-time Rays Fantasy lineup. Rolando Arrojo, wow.

Bracketology Bloggin'

My Fantasy Baseball Team has a simple question: WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE STANFORD????????????????. (Warning: If the subject line wasn't bad enough, there are blatant Elaine Benis uses of punctuation throughout the blog)What's that Jim, a 10 seed for Syracuse?

dbacksfan414 has Kentucky as an 8 seed. Gary Parrish has the Wildcats as a 10 seed. I'm with Parrish on this one. While the turnaround is a good story, this is still an 18-win team at the moment and the road wins aren't impressive.

Steady Bloggin has Kent State as a 12 seed. Gary Parrish has the Flashes as a 10 seed. Call me Goldilocks, I like them as an 11 seed if they win out.

Dantheman4250's College Basketball Blog has the Miami (Hurricanes) as a 7 seed. Gary Parrish has them as a 9 seed. A win vs. N.C. State and they're no worse than a 9. That, plus a win or two in the tourney and we may be talking 7. I like those road wins vs. VCU and Miss. State.

Bryan's Babbling has Syracuse as a 9 seed. Gary Parrish has the Orange an 11 seed. It would take a nice win at Villanova to get me to buy them as a 9 seed. Without a solid Big East tourney run, I think we're looking at a 10 at best, but more likely an 11.

If you made me pick a likely champion right here, right now. I'd agree with Hunter21's Blog.

Jason Wells is like every other blogger. He has Maryland as a bubble team. No way the Terps get into the tourney unless they make the ACC finals. Gary Williams has had better coaching seasons.

Ballyhooing Bloggin'

The Blog to End All Blogs is mad, and not going to take it anymore. He hates the ratings system and love fests. So do we, so do we. The latter that is. 

Posted on: February 13, 2008 5:24 pm
Edited on: February 13, 2008 6:22 pm

Blog Day Afternoon: Today's word is mis-remember

Today's word of the day is "mis-remember."

The Rocket mis-fired in front of Congress. Apparently Dallas mis-remembered what a pain in the butt Jason Kidd was his first time around.

Apparently Indiana mis-remembered how big a slime ball Kelvin Sampson really is when they hired him.

Apparently Seattle mis-remembered that injuries to pitchers do happen in spring training when it decided to name Erik Bedard its opening day starter. (Why so early, chaps?)

Apparently Uno mis-remembered he's a beagle en route to winning best in show at the Westminster Kennel Club.

And apparently Roger Clemens remembered to use the word mis-remember during his testimonies today on Capitol Hill.

Funny thing about mis-remembering, you often end up remembering the oldest trick in the book at times. What's that, you ask? Why it's blaming your parents. Mama Clemens was the one shilling B12 shots to a young Clemens and Papa Pettitte was the HGH handler those "two times." You just never are too old to throw mom and pop under the bus for your mis-judgements.

 On to the best blogs ... around! (What a big news day edition)

Looking at the boards, it seems nearly everybody outside of DFW thinks the Mavs were swindled on the Jason Kidd trade. 3 reaZons From one big three to the next, Jason Kidd is back in Big D. speaks for the majority on this subject.

(Allow me to counter: Late first-round picks are probably the most worthless commodity in basketball. A first-round pick is always guaranteed while second-round picks don't have guaranteed deals. The talent divide between the person drafted 25th and 35th usually isn't that great so the Nets will now be on the hook to give guaranteed three-year deals to players who probably won't even pan out. Just throwing that out there.)

First Bobby Knight, now Kelvin Sampson? Dodds and Ends says Indiana should be ashamed and the writing is on the wall for Sampson.

CBS Sports.com Fantasy gurus can be so tardy in responding to your e-mails. That's where Bradyard's Backyard Sports Talk comes in. The blogger is here and ready to answer your Fantasy questions. Here's my Q: Riddle me this, what is average air speed velocity of an unladen swallow ... and which relief pitcher will come from nowhere in the AL to rack up a ton of saves?

Congratulations from the Wonderful World of Gonos (and Kay's Korner) to Ross Devonport. Our very on bloke won the Fantasy Golf Writer of the Year Award. Of course, his competition was ... nobody! I kid because I'm jealous.

If you think you can write better cutlines for photos than we do, check in on Shulaces. He has a funny picture-thingy worth commenting on.

The all-mighty Hendrick Motorsports has engine trouble. Screaming in Digital explains what the team's Harry Hogge told reporters.

***Do you like bracketology? If so, get a hobby. Or feed into your demons with accnodefense's excellent breakdown of the NCAA Tournament. ***

Prisco's Points says the Jags overpaid fullback Greg Jones. I say ask Larry Johnson what life has been like without Tony Richardson. Or Shaun Alexander how life was without Mack Strong. Or Eddie George how life was without Lorenzo Neil. These guys are the left tackles of the running game ... they should get paid, Pete.

Looking for some NL preview capsules to tide you over before pitchers and catchers report? NaterB's Junk Drawer is just your blog.

***indicates blog du jour

Posted on: February 6, 2008 5:32 pm
Edited on: February 6, 2008 6:02 pm

Blog Day Afternoon: Delivery? It's Dicky V!

Things I learned about Dick Vitale from a New York Times article. (Sorry for the lack of link, the tool is being a real PITA).

He's 68 years old. (I would have said 63)

He gets three Mercedes just through endorsement deals. (What no Broughams?)

He wasn't allowed to speak for a month, using only a Legends of the Fall-ian type chalk board (OK, Dry-Erase) to communicate with people.

He had the cajones to call someone a "young Lou Holtz" (ouch).

And Vitale never thought he was doing any damage to his voice by carrying on about Dookies and diaper dandies like he rountinely did.

“I just always thought I had this loud way about me, you know, the throat became my sound, whether it was clear or not,” he said. “It’s helped me make my living.”

Welcome back Vitale, after all, watching a Duke-UNC game without you ruining it would be like watching Cadyshack 2 without Jackie Mason. 

Hi I'm your new boss, Nolan Ryan

There's probably not a connection here. But on the same day former player Steve Kerr acquired aging and crumbling Shaq, the Texas Rangers hired ex-player Nolan Ryan as president. Now, of course, former players can make good executives, but it's a whole heckuva lot easier to rattle of the name of bad ex-player GMs or presidents (Kevin McHale, Isiah Thomas, Ozzie Newsome, Matt Millen...) than it is the good ones (Jerry West, Ernie Grunfeld, Billy Beane).

It's just if I'm an owner, I'm probably not going to turn my management structure over to a former player, someone who spent 20-some years of his life playing the game. I'd rather have someone who spent 20-some years thinking analytically about the game, and who won't put me in a headlock for saying something like, "strikeouts don't define a pitcher."

From the coach's mouth

 "I'm proud of Tyler Dierkers," Coles said. "He might be our leader, and I never thought he could lead anything. I thought he was just a jovial guy -- a happy-go-lucky guy -- but he's had some big ballgames this year. He's growing. I hope he keeps growing. He's smart, anyway -- good grades and everything -- but he's really come out this year and is showing us he cares."

-- Miami RedHawks coach Charlie Coles on setting the bar real low for one of his players.  

On to the best ... blogs around!

The Suns are notoriously cheap. Shaq is notoriously expensive. The Blog to End All Blogs is confused. And upset. And throwing around mean words like, "Isiah Thomas."

I admit I skim, scan, peruse and even glance at stories. And I get in trouble for it sometimes. But this whole Gisele Bundchen running naked thing is taking idiocy to a new level. I'm lookin at you, FOOTBALL 365.

Never shy to ask the tough questions in life, The Blog about Nothing inquires: What is your favorite Seinfeld episode? I'm fond of "Shrinkage" and this one, where Kramer gets his hands on an old Merv Griffin set.

Mock drafts, fake breasts and real breasts (how eclectic) are just a few of the Wonderful World of Gonos' favorite things. Oh, and Ben Sheets makes a funny.

Think adjusting to Phoenix's high-octane offense will be Shaq's toughest test? Think again says The Sports Comedian. It's Dr. Sameer Pendalooza.

If you're into crazy draft-day scenarios -- who isn't? -- involving the Bears, read Big Bad Bears Blog.  

Posted on: January 16, 2008 3:59 pm
Edited on: January 16, 2008 9:20 pm

Blog Day Afternoon: Don't leave work without 'em

Being that Blog Day Afternoon lives in the blog, "Raw Sewage ... I love it!" it's only fitting that we talk about what our old pal Det. Nordberg is up to these days. To the shock of RSILI!, he's been in a little trouble of late. Yep, a little bit of trouble.

Here's what Hapsburg's crony, Clark County District Court Judge Jackie Glass told Nordberg today:

"I don't know Mr. Simpson what the heck you were thinking -- or maybe that's the problem -- you weren't."

Clearly she has her cases mixed up, what, calling Nordberg "Mr. Simpson" and talking in such a condescending fashion. Does she not remember how he bravely entered the I Love You? Does she forget his valiant effort to rig a tracking device to Hector Savage's van? What about when he helped stop the bomb at the Academy Awards?

In any event, we're expecting Police Squad will have to go quite sometime without Nordberg's services. But that's OK, officer Shaquille O'Neal is back tonight.

Here are the best ... blogs around!

Ever wonder what it's like to talk to L.T. right after he's done practicing? THE FANTASY LIFE had the opportunity (he stalks players, so what?) and found out a little something about Michael Turner. Oh, and Tom Brady seems like he'll make one helluva politician.

The Sports Comedian, our resident Zucker brother, explains why C-Span may be expanding its lineup in the near future. C-Span the Ocho, anybody?

The Slippery Toad is in full audit (No, Brian, it's a foreign car, the "T" is silent) mode. First up: An Angels fan, which to my surprise, does exist.

For the second straight day bloggers are gunning for E-Mack's job. This time it's Stu on this (great name, btw) and his prospect rankings. He has Joe E. Tata ranked No. 8.

If you like being prepared, or just have a thing for looking at schedules, check out what's on slate from our Fantasy lads courtesy of the Wonderful World of Gonos. That is, if he's still alive following his double-header tonight.

Are the Patriots less undefeated because they won't be playing the defending champs Sunday? Leading the League in Random says "Nevermind" to that notion.

Pacman Jones, Mitt Romney and the Dallas exodus of coaches walk into a blog. The bartender asks, "why are you depressed Letters from The Den?" The three respond, "we're not Jessica Alba's unborn child's baby daddy."

Another Joe E. Tata mention, this time in Erstwhile Highlanders Blog, as he breaks down the Yankees' non-millionaires club.

And don't forget to share your Love and Hate in TabSpangler's Why I Love/Hate the San Diego Chargers.

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or CBSSports.com