Posted on: April 10, 2008 11:28 am
Edited on: April 10, 2008 12:51 pm

Alpha Blog: Stanley Pringle nickname competition

You know Shulaces photo caption contest. Well, I'm going to have my own little competition today.

I shall deem thee contest: "Let's give Stanley Pringle a nickname."

Stanley Pringle is a man who knows a thing or two about hand lotion.If you don't remember, Pringle is the Penn State guard charged with lewdness and disorderly conduct. More specifically, he was allegedly masturbating in a library -- his second incident of the nature in two weeks.

This is what he told campus police:

Pringle told police he has "a bad habit of putting his hand down his pants," and demonstrated for the officer by placing his hand down the front of his sweatpants, according to the complaint.

"Why would I need to masturbate?" he told police. "This is how I chill, ma'am."

Really, this was just a sales pitch gone wrong. You see, Stanley Pringle sells hand lotion for the basketball team. He was simply demonstrating manners in which to use lotion.

Apparently, a few swings of Simpsons and Son's tonic later he made his pitch (it puts the lotion on it's skin...) :Coming soon to a university near you.

The woman told police that after 15 minutes of conversation with Pringle, she heard the sound of adjusting clothing followed by a "smacking sound, like Pringle's hand was smacking against the skin of his body."

The victim said she did not turn around because she was afraid, adding that she believed this to be the sound of masturbation and could see a reflection of Pringle's hand moving back and forth, according to the criminal complaint.

The woman told police that Pringle then answered his ringing cell phone and proceeded to make "moaning sounds" and "sounded like he was short of breath."

 You wouldn't think a little 5-on-1 would get the 6-1 guard out of breath, but making sales is so tough in today's slumping economic climate. Of course, maybe the sound she heard   was this

So the question is (and not to beat a dead Lion down) what do we deem thee, Mr. Stanley "once he pops, he can't stop" Pringle?  

 On to the four best blogs ... around! Jake Westbrook for the Cy? Sigh. 


Gary Parrish announced his Ridiculously Early But Still Kind Of Fun Preseason Top 25 (and one) Thursday. Dantheman4250's Sports Blog released his Top 25 College Hoops Teams for 2009 (As of Apr 9) Thursday. Advantage ... blogger. Wow.

I don't like his Flyers over Caps prediction, but I do like his Minnesota over Colorado prediction. dbacksfan414 breaks down the hockey playoffs.

I don't disagree with the premise of the blog -- Cleveland will win the AL Central -- but Don Juan's Sports Thoughts calling Jake Westbrook the eventual Cy Young winner is a wee bit absurd. I mean, REALLY?

It's just a short trip on I-70 From Frederick to Charm City, and the blogger breaks down the Orioles' hot start. Last season the team bought middle relief pitching. This season it's discovering middle relief pitching. Lesson: Never pay a lot for middle relief pitching.

 Klick of the Day  

I don't know what Newfangle means, but Pringles seems to. (Anybody who can Stanley Pringle-fy this video and share gets mad props.)

Posted on: March 18, 2008 1:29 pm
Edited on: March 18, 2008 1:36 pm

Alpha Blog: Tuesday's finest bloggy dishes

Two talking points for Tuesday:

The Dalia Lama hasn't been misquoted this much since Cadyshack. Seriously, China's talking about this guy like we need to fire up the bat sign above Tibet and get the Caped Crusader to stop this evil Olympic-thwarting mastermind.

For whatever reason, I'm not buying into Alex Rios as a blossoming Fantasy star. He's not a power guy, he just happens to hit home runs (and stay at a Holiday Inn Express). I've avoided him all 42 baseball leagues I'm in.

On to the best blogs ... around!  

BB's thoughts breaks down the West Region and believe it not, has UCLA losing. I kid. But the blog does have Texas A&M beating BYU. Personally I don't bet against god, or any of her schools. Check out all the blogger's region previews while you're at it.

For an excellent take on the play-in game (read up degenerate gamblers), check out what dbacksfan414 has to say. Also a must-read for Coppin fans looking for a little pat on the back.

I'm a sucker for anything titled "blah, blah, blah. Really?" You throw the word "really" out there, in true Seth Meyers fashion, and I'll click on it. Famous words from an Eagle's fan shares his take on the Eagles' Dan Klecko signing. Really? You're going to put that apostrophe after the "e" on Eagles. Really?

Harst's View on Sports shares Harst's Top 5 NBA Teams of All-Time. There's not much to debate here, but I am curious. Where's the analysis? Insight? Lists are fun and all, but the blog-o-world-dome-land could use a bit more than just bullet points. I mean who spends their time making blogs that are essentially bullet points. Oh, wait. I've made a horrible mistake.To Mom's chagrin, clearly, no soap is even used at Casa De Kay

For people who don't use their bathtubs for making gin, I guess soaps tend tend to linger along the lips of the tub? In Love with the Game, Mom's View shares some insight as to why da vee-man put those little cellulose-derived creations out there and asks: how do certain scents effect you? To quote my man Frank Drebin, "raw sewage, I love it!"

(PS: How about an expose on all those worthless pillows da vee-man put on beds only to be taken off before sleep time?)

Why were we so quick to come down on Randy Moss when that whole restraining order business came down before the Super Bowl? A weird and wonderful journey examines why we love to build up, then tear down our celebrities. My take? We're a moody society. Don't catch us on a bad day.

For a Yankees season outlook that reads like an eye exam (how about now? Is it better or worse?), check in on our pal Stu on This. I should say, it's a very thorough eye exam.

OK, I wasn't completely fair. I said I'll click on anything with the word "really" (in true mocking tone) in the subject line. I also click on anything about movies. So The United States of Consciousness gets my click, despite me not tuning in to John Adams or Distburbia. I will recommend what's next in the blog's queue -- Ratatouille. It challenges Nemo for Pixar's top-ever movie status. I did just send back Eastern Promises to our mutual friend, NetFlix. It's classic Cronenberg (Crash, History of Violence...), and if you want to see a Viggo (at times naked) tour de force, or simply like flicks about the Russian mob, check in on it. Really!

Posted on: March 11, 2008 11:31 am
Edited on: March 11, 2008 2:36 pm

Alpha Blog: Your brackets vs. Parrish, again

It's silly to even bring this up. But we're silly people here. The Heat have 20 games remaining. And you know something? They may not win any of them.

Tie feeling a little tight, Pat Riley?I know, I know. No team finishes on what would be a 25-game losing skid. But if there's any team that can make a run at this, the Heat are doing their best. Their coach has checked out. Their star is off making "appearances" at his new restaurants. They have a Mark Blount, and a Ricky Davis, to boot.

They lose games like last night's heartbreaker to the Clippers (they can't even trip their way to a win).

Shawn Marion can only do so much.

Chris Quinn? 'Nuff said. Sorry CBSSports.com sales guru David Salinas. Apparently, they're BFF or something.

If DNP's were a favorable metric, this team would have locked up a playoff berth right now.

OK, so I'm looking at the schedule and when your team still has games against foes like New York, Milwaukee, Memphis and Indiana, you're bound to get a win somewhere in there.

But wouldn't it just be something if they didn't? Oh, the schadenfreude!

So they probably will get a win at some point. I just hope it's in their final game, against a team that just took a "doubleheader" against you. No better way to stop a potential 25-game losing streak heading into 2008-'09 than by beating the team that won the league's first "doubleheader" in 25 years. Maybe I'll watch that finale at D Wade's Sports Grill.

On to the best blogs ... around!    

Baseball Bloggin'

Sorry fellow Nats fans, but despite two-ninths of our roster potentially being filled by Boone's, I won't expect a cheap wine sponsorship coming Brett's way. Scott Miller's Bull Pennings reports.

You don't know who Blake Davis is, but after you get through My never ending Story......, you will. Hint: He's stuck on the depth chart behind Brandon Fahey.

The Wonderful World of Gonos does the unthinkable -- compiles the all-time Rays Fantasy lineup. Rolando Arrojo, wow.

Bracketology Bloggin'

My Fantasy Baseball Team has a simple question: WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE STANFORD????????????????. (Warning: If the subject line wasn't bad enough, there are blatant Elaine Benis uses of punctuation throughout the blog)What's that Jim, a 10 seed for Syracuse?

dbacksfan414 has Kentucky as an 8 seed. Gary Parrish has the Wildcats as a 10 seed. I'm with Parrish on this one. While the turnaround is a good story, this is still an 18-win team at the moment and the road wins aren't impressive.

Steady Bloggin has Kent State as a 12 seed. Gary Parrish has the Flashes as a 10 seed. Call me Goldilocks, I like them as an 11 seed if they win out.

Dantheman4250's College Basketball Blog has the Miami (Hurricanes) as a 7 seed. Gary Parrish has them as a 9 seed. A win vs. N.C. State and they're no worse than a 9. That, plus a win or two in the tourney and we may be talking 7. I like those road wins vs. VCU and Miss. State.

Bryan's Babbling has Syracuse as a 9 seed. Gary Parrish has the Orange an 11 seed. It would take a nice win at Villanova to get me to buy them as a 9 seed. Without a solid Big East tourney run, I think we're looking at a 10 at best, but more likely an 11.

If you made me pick a likely champion right here, right now. I'd agree with Hunter21's Blog.

Jason Wells is like every other blogger. He has Maryland as a bubble team. No way the Terps get into the tourney unless they make the ACC finals. Gary Williams has had better coaching seasons.

Ballyhooing Bloggin'

The Blog to End All Blogs is mad, and not going to take it anymore. He hates the ratings system and love fests. So do we, so do we. The latter that is. 

Posted on: March 10, 2008 11:14 am
Edited on: March 10, 2008 3:26 pm

Alpha Blog: Comparing your 16 vs. Parrish's

Welcome to the Alpha Blog (formerly Blog Day Afternoon). Shulaces and I have swapped duties, so he'll now be taking the afternoon/evening blog roundup and I'll take the overnight/morning batch. I can only hope to fill his shus adequately.

Where do we put the Aussie and the Commodores?To tip things off, we're going to start Monday off with a little feature we'll run occasionally called "Beat our Beat Writer." Up first is choops connoisseur Gary Parrish and his Projecting the Field. You bloggers have taken a shining to projecting fields (better than vomit, right?) so let's see how y'all stack up against Parrish. With less than a week before Selection Sunday, the clock is taking before the Big Dance. There is no room for error. 

What we'll do today is match your top four seeds by region against Parrish's. There will be two metrics:

1. How close did you match him across the board (exact team in his exact seed and region)
2. Ignoring placement, did you have the same 16 teams he did

If you're mentioned below, please share why you chose different placement than our spiky-haired columnist.

Blog Days of Summer & other seasons has 15 of the 16 teams Parrish has (Vandy in, Butler out) and matched up two teams (Stanford, UCLA) in the exact same spot as our expert.

dbacksfan414 has all 16 teams Parrish has, but seeds four of them differently. Notably, Big East regular season champion Georgetown is a three seed.

Twelve of 14 isn't what raises eyebrows in Dantheman4250's College Basketball Blog. It's where the blog has Purdue (a six seed) that intrigues me.

I assume there's only three worth promoting because everybody's rolling into work an hour late today. Will post more as they surface.

And now for something(s) completely different.    

For an in-depth look at the Conference USA, check out Blogs and Ends, done by our very own video producer Matt Brodsky. You'll understand why we put him in the A/V department very quickly.

I'm already in three Fantasy baseball leagues. I'm drafting in one right now. I have one coming around the corner, and because I work for CBSSports.com, I'm sure I'll have another invite or three coming my way. So I like seeing what people do in their Fantasy drafts. I like a lot of random thoughts of buckeye22's draft (Granderson, Garko, Zimmerman and Gorzelanny). But Yahoo!? C'mon, buddy!

Why can't we just let the whole Patriots thing go? That's what My take on things wants to know in the blog's term-paper length opus on the subject matter. Used -- the NASCAR defense. Not used in the blog? The Chewbacca Defense. 

Posted on: March 5, 2008 5:47 pm

Blog Day Afternoon: Looking for something?

Since I'm looking for a bed, asap, being that I've slept an average of four hours a night over the last two-plus weeks, I'm getting straight to the good stuff. And by good stuff I mean Tylenol PM -- and your blogs.

On to the best blogs ... around!

Looking to see what's in the Bears' crystal ball? Common Sense with Patg006 breaks down what's left to do in free agency and the draft.

Looking for a scouting report on the uh, Marlins and Orioles? Check out You've got eSmack!'s take on their spring training game. 

If you're looking for a solid Patriot League preview, dbacksfan414 has just the blog for you. There's also Sun Belt, Atlantic Sun and a bunch of other leagues I'm not paying attention to.

If you're looking for a good photo of Jack Nicholson, Shulaces has just the blog for you. Warning: blog may be addictive.

If you're looking to start it up with a Cowboys homer, Down in the swampland anything goes..... has just the blog for you.

More to come...I hope

Posted on: January 21, 2008 4:12 pm
Edited on: January 21, 2008 4:27 pm

Blog Day Afternoon: Don't leave work without 'em

It looks like Randy Moss isn't the only wide receiver with relationship woes.

Hello Cedrick Wilson. How you may have known Cedrick Wilson? Why he's the mediocre third or fourth receiver for the Steelers. How you may know him now? Mr. Wilson, as the neighborhood boys like to call him, saw his house turn into the Branch Davidian compound for about 12 hours Saturday.

His girlfriend (that term may no longer be official) brandished a .38-caliber firearm following a tiff, fired two shots into a wall (not the plasma TV!) and shacked up in the abode for half a day as dozens of police set up a perimeter and evacuated the neighborhood.

"I was taken aback," neighborhood resident Gretchen Dunn told the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review. "The situation did not seem to warrant the kind of response that occurred. I thought somebody was being held hostage there. But that obviously wasn't the case."

Lindsey "Left Eye" Paulat eventually relinquished her role as madwoman/hostage and all was well in the Pittsburgh 'burb.

This proves one thing: Chad Johnson's approach to raffles may be pretty smart, after all.

In other news, Jason Priestley (of "Donna Martin graduates" fame) announced he's co-owner of a race team that will have a car in the Indy 500.  Bring on the inevitable Peach Pit stop/crew jokes in 5, 4, 3, 2, (Have a nice day. Thank you.) ... now!

On to the best ... blogs around!

Speaking of girlfriends, turns out Eli is the BMOC of the Manning clan. The Sports Comedian breaks down the Lloyd Dobler effect the Giants' win is having on poor ol' Peyton.

You know Jarrod Saltalamacchia. But do you know the other top catchers under 23? Believe it or not, one of them plays for the Orioles. But Stu on this brings up the point: Remember Ryan Garko?

Pismojoe's Blog Central asks the question: Do CBS writers steal from message board posts? To paraphrase Lord Helmet: Suckers! I can't believe you fell for that! Seriously, the answer is most likely not. It's more of a situation of highly in-tune posters being on the same story-idea curve as the national media.

BigPapiandManny's 3-4 Punch offers an in-depth look at the Super Bowl. Included is a Tom Emanski-inspired "Tackle the right way" talking point.

If you're one of the many who think L.T. let his teammates down Sunday, hear what Battling my inner demons has to say about the Chargers' hobbled running back.

If you like Power and/or Rankings and/or the Pac-10 check out dbacksfan414's list-a-majig. Or check out Huskyonspeed Power Blog's Pac-10 rankings. Does anybody outside the West Coast do CBK power rankings? Regardless, Gary Parrish would be proud. Or is it mad? I mix those two words up.

se7en says has his daily dose of riddles for your reading pleasure (or torture). His Lucky 7 entry brings up the old joke: Who are the two most trusting people in the world? Two cannibals having oral ... (hey now!).

And speaking of love affairs gone sour, FOOTBALL WITHDRAWAL says New York's love for Jeremy Shockey may need to be re-evaluated following the team's success without the tight end.

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or CBSSports.com