You know Shulaces photo caption contest. Well, I'm going to have my own little competition today.
I shall deem thee contest: "Let's give Stanley Pringle a nickname."
If you don't remember, Pringle is the Penn State guard charged with lewdness and disorderly conduct. More specifically, he was allegedly masturbating in a library -- his second incident of the nature in two weeks.
This is what he told campus police:
Pringle told police he has "a bad habit of putting his hand down his pants," and demonstrated for the officer by placing his hand down the front of his sweatpants, according to the complaint.
"Why would I need to masturbate?" he told police. "This is how I chill, ma'am."
Really, this was just a sales pitch gone wrong. You see, Stanley Pringle sells hand lotion for the basketball team. He was simply demonstrating manners in which to use lotion.
Apparently, a few swings of Simpsons and Son's tonic later he made his pitch (it puts the lotion on it's skin...) :
The woman told police that after 15 minutes of conversation with Pringle, she heard the sound of adjusting clothing followed by a "smacking sound, like Pringle's hand was smacking against the skin of his body."
The victim said she did not turn around because she was afraid, adding that she believed this to be the sound of masturbation and could see a reflection of Pringle's hand moving back and forth, according to the criminal complaint.
The woman told police that Pringle then answered his ringing cell phone and proceeded to make "moaning sounds" and "sounded like he was short of breath."
You wouldn't think a little 5-on-1 would get the 6-1 guard out of breath, but making sales is so tough in today's slumping economic climate. Of course, maybe the sound she heard was this
So the question is (and not to beat a dead Lion down) what do we deem thee, Mr. Stanley "once he pops, he can't stop" Pringle?
On to the four best blogs ... around!
Gary Parrish announced his Ridiculously Early But Still Kind Of Fun Preseason Top 25 (and one) Thursday. Dantheman4250's Sports Blog released his Top 25 College Hoops Teams for 2009 (As of Apr 9) Thursday. Advantage ... blogger. Wow.
I don't like his Flyers over Caps prediction, but I do like his Minnesota over Colorado prediction. dbacksfan414 breaks down the hockey playoffs.
I don't disagree with the premise of the blog -- Cleveland will win the AL Central -- but Don Juan's Sports Thoughts calling Jake Westbrook the eventual Cy Young winner is a wee bit absurd. I mean, REALLY?
It's just a short trip on I-70 From Frederick to Charm City, and the blogger breaks down the Orioles' hot start. Last season the team bought middle relief pitching. This season it's discovering middle relief pitching. Lesson: Never pay a lot for middle relief pitching.
Klick of the Day
I don't know what Newfangle means, but Pringles seems to. (Anybody who can Stanley Pringle-fy this video and share gets mad props.)